[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

[[Christmas]]

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Hopefully, everyone had a great day. Not like mine, which was spent watching TV, surfing the Net and cooking instant noodles for dinner.

Well, Christmas don't really mean much to me anyway.

Anyway, many thanks to all the people who had given me cards and/or gifts for Christmas. Fully appreciate it, no matter the gifts are big or small. Like I always say, it's the thought that counts.

Christmas Eve this year seems pretty muted for me. It was spent playing pool with Sean and Yukun. Not that I wasn't having any fun playing pool. Hmm, at least it's something I have not done before on a Christmas Eve.

I remembered Defang once said during one of our "Christmas/New Year Eve 4/2 and 4/3 gathering" that why he had to spend every Christmas Eve with us guys. It was in a joking manner, of course. But somehow, it did make some sense at that time.

I mean, it's really quite sad that a bunch of guys are spending their Christmas and New Year Eves every year with each other, right?

But now, it has changed. I can't quite remember when was the last time a large group of us had a gathering on Christmas or New Year Eve. What seemed like an annual event that was pretty much taken for granted back then, I do miss quite a bit now.

I suppose this is life, when everyone grows to have different priorities. And, it is indeed important for everyone to prioritise.

Strange that when people are young, they yearn to grow up so that they can do many other things. But after growing up, they look back at the younger years and wished they were back in those times.

But well, I'm looking forward to 2008. Seems like it's going to be quite eventful.

Happy New Year to everyone!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:53 pm|

Monday, December 17, 2007

[[]]

If you ask me, it is so much better to be physically tired than mentally tired.

Every single thing is starting to make me so weary. Work, studies, ming boggling issues...

It seems pretty strange, but most of the time spent in the Army seems to be the least stress-free.

I do miss the times when everyone would sit together in the bunk or office and just talked about anything and everything till late. One vivid memory was there was once Kah Sheng, Kok Chuan, Weiliang and I sat together and chit chatted until almost 3am, when we had to get ready by 7am for a morning run.

Work can get really boring when everyone is immersed in their work, wanting to finish everything and go home on time. Interaction seems to be a bare minimum, only used when work matters are concerned.

I don't know, but maybe I am afraid of loneliness sometimes. Much as I can't bring myself to admit that. The moments of solitude allows me to think about a lot of stuff, but not being able to find the right person to convey some thoughts and/or feelings can make one feel really empty.

I must be the biggest oxymoron around the people I know. I have friends often coming to me, asking for opinions on stuff. But yet, when faced with similar situations, I can never bring myself to do exactly the same opinion that I gave them.

I preach to others the importance of staying optimistic, on how looking at the better side of things can make life much happie. Yet, almost everything that I do smacks of pessimism.

I thought of telling them they are the most important friends in my life. I wanted to tell her how she seems to make my life alive. But things like that are never likely to come out from my mouth.

Isn't it weird to lead a life like that? Making everything seem difficult.

Maybe that's why I feel so tired.

Oh well...I guess all I need now is sleep. It helps to drain the thoughts. And the heavy head is close to driving me nuts.

perspective. it is so bloody hard to define this word.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:03 pm|

Thursday, December 13, 2007

[[]]

Strange that I've been blogging so often recently huh?

I can't quite remember when was the last time I blogged almost on a daily basis. Maybe during my poly days, when times were more slack.

Got a plesant surprise when I got home just a few moments ago. My first (and probably only) Christmas card for the year! Many thanks to Jingyi! It's pretty touching that you still remember my address. Will send you a Christmas card soon too!

Had dinner at White Dog Cafe at VivoCity just now. Price isn't exactly too cheap, but the food isn't too bad actually. I like the calamari especially. Very crispy! Should try if you do get the chance, though it's almost $7 for 7 pieces. But worth it!

I don't know why, but after playing pool for so long, I still kinda suck. Getting really frustrated sometimes. I just can't understand why I can never ever fully concentrate on a game properly. Don't know what's going on in my mind sometimes. About time to stop coming up with excuses...

2007 is going to come to an end. It's fast. Really fast. So many things happened, some rather memorable, some more than forgettable. I don't know if 2008 will be a better year. I certainly hope that it will. And I'm really trying very hard to enjoy and be happy with whatever I have in my life now.

Funny huh? That I even have to try to enjoy and be happy...

Oh well...never mind about that. It's about time to go to bed.

Falling asleep can be s difficult sometimes...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|1:08 am|

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

[[]]

A cold, cold rainy night.

It doesn't get lonelier on nights like these, do they?

I'm trying very hard to convince myself to sleep now. You know, rather than spending the time rolling about in your bed struggling to sleep, the time can be better used for other things.

Only when you wake up in the morning then you start regretting knocking out at 1am.

Well, I suppose that's part of life.

Never mind, I shall sleep early. Haven't had much of it lately anyway.

First, I need a breather though. To clear all those thoughts from my head. To stop all those things running in my mind.

Damn, I really hate life sometimes...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:44 pm|

Sunday, December 09, 2007

[[]]

This must be one of the more horrific days I've had for quite some time.

First, I woke up late for lessons. No one could get through to my mobile even though I did not off my handphone. It was so infuriating for me, and I believe for my group mates too.

A very lucky thing that we were one of the last few groups to present. That gave me ample time to reach school and settle down before we had our presentation after the lunch break. I don't know what would be the likely consequences if I failed to make it to the presentation due to carelessness on my part.

On a slightly better note, project is going on pretty fine. Everyone has their few worries here and there, but I am of the belief that everything is going pretty much okay, and we only need to fine-tune certain areas to make it a very much decent research proposal.

Met up with Adam, Chris, Clarence, Daniel, Jethro and Shifa in town after class. It has been a really long time since we guys had the opportunity to gather. A pity that Jethro had to leave slightly earlier. It was so much fun hanging around with these guys, because for sure, you know that verbal entertainment is something that will never be shorn of during these meetings.

I'm not sure when we would be able to meet up in such a group again, hopefully it will be soon. And good luck to Chris too, who is going to leave for the US of A pretty soon for an exchange programme. We'll miss you and hope you'll come back soon. In the meanwhile, don't go around and have too many of a certain excapade yah? Hahaha!

I wonder sometimes why I can get so unlucky. As I was fetching my sister home from Woodlands just now, the front right tyre burst while I was on BKE.

Damnit. I really can't understand the kind of luck I have sometimes. It was fortunate that few cars are out at this hour, and that I was on the left lane, making it much easier to move to the road shoulder.

I feel bad about having to make my parents come down specially to change the tyre. Sighx. It is such a traumatic experience that I will never want to go through again.

And after all these shite, I am getting damn tired. Supposed to go for my company's dragonboat training later, bu I guess I'll be too tired to go. It makes me feel bad once again that I have to go back on my obligations towards other people.

Hopefully the rest of the day will be a good one. Sometimes, I really think I am due some luck. I don't mind being the sole winner of the next Chinese New Year Ang Bao Toto draw Group 1 winner. *winkz*

*feelings are so hard to explain sometimes. they just come without you knowing, without you wanting.*

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|4:50 am|

Thursday, December 06, 2007

[[Shaggelicious. Or Shackelicious?]]

Trembling eyebags. Symptons of nausea. Constant yawning. Teary eyes.

Yes, dude. I am SERIOUSLY tired. Shagged. Shacked. Whatever.

I truly admire friends, and anyone, who are able to juggle work full-time and still excel in their part-time studies.

Man, this shit is seriously tough and demanding. I mean, I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride, but it somehow feels like you're driving, and halfway you meet a 10-metre wide canal seperating you from the other side of the road.

Get what I mean? Erm...ok, I think most of you don't. Never mind.

Anyway, bottomline is, it is bloody tough.

At least it won't last that long, provided I get through my degree without any glitches. Which I'm sure isn't too difficult, since my main priority now is my studies, though it's only part-time compared to my job, which is full-time.

But well, to my classmates and friends who are in a similar situation, let's all work hard. Get our degrees and go on to have wonderful careers!

To my other friends in NUS, NTU etc., I know you all are smart enough lah. No need my encouragement, you will be sensible enough to work hard. Hehz. In fact, you might wanna let me some of your brain cells so that I might do better for my exams.

Ok, I'm really tired. So I'm gonna take an earlier rest. Sleep is starting to become a privilege more than an entitlement. This is the point when you realise that, life, do SUCK sometimes. *sighx*

Take care everyone! Till the next time!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:08 am|

Sunday, December 02, 2007

[[]]

Life has been hectic pretty lately.

Work, studies and more work and studies. But at least it seems fulfilling.

I like going to school, for a variety of reasons. I don't like work as much though, but there really isn't much of an option but to get used to it.

It may be hectic, but I'm kind of enjoying much of the happenings nowadays. I don't know why, but at least I think I feel happier than I am for quite a number of years.

Again, it is for a variety of reasons. Of which I don't think I would like to elaborate. There are so many things I like to keep to myself, just for me to know. *sMiLeZ*

It's going to be the end of 2007. So many things are coming up. Christmas (much as it doesn't hold much relevance to me), Chinese New Year, moving house...

I get the feeling that 2008 will be over as quickly as this year. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

Time to log off and go to sleep. The singular thing I hate in my life now is that I seem to have lesser and lesser time to sleep.

I miss those lazy days!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:21 pm|