[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Saturday, November 27, 2004

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Quite a few days since I last blogged. Realised I haven't been blogging so much lately as I used to in the past. Well...there are quite a few reasons (not excuses). Sometimes too busy, sometimes too tired, sometimes too caught up with playing Maple Story...sometimes...
Anywayz it's been a really long week. And I'm finally into the weekend. Let's pick up from where I last ended off. Tuesday and Wednesday went back to school for a studio production course. The course was wonderful. Interesting, fun...I learnt a lot from the course. From directing to cameraman to floor manager...so many people are actually needed for a simple production. No wonder they say importing foreign programmes are always cheaper than producing your own. The only disappointing part was the attendance. So many signed up, so few turned up. What a waste. And you people who didn't turn up...shoot yourself. Mr. Loh had to specially arrange this for you and that's the thanks he got. Ungrateful idiots.
Moving on, it's Thursday. Half good, half bad. Good because I had lunch with her and 2 other female classmates. Bad because firstly, I was already having an upset stomach from yesterday and it became worse. Then waited for more than hour after work for my father to pick me up to go Downtown East where my family was having a chalet. In the end he decided it was too troublesome. Got me so pissed that I went home. And almost got into a stampede at Boon Lay MRT station. Was travelling down the escalator when this dumb woman in front of me...her daughter had fell at the foot of the escalator. Instead of quickly pulling her daughter out of harm's way, she dilly-dallied, "oblivious" to the fact that behind her was an escalator packed full with people. I tried to get out of the way (cos I don't wanna stamp on the woman and her daughter) but instead "crashed" into the uncle next to me. And quite a few people behind followed suit. Damn...it scared the hell out of that little girl. What a stupid mother. If I had any ounce of energy left in me I would have screamed my head off at her.
Friday was most lax. Cos was on MC (actually I didn't get 1), so rested at home. The wait at the darn polyclinic was so freaking long. It took me more than an hour for my turn. And you wonder why polyclinics are cheaper than private ones. Actually the difference is like $5? I wonder why I was waiting for so long too. At night went to Downtown East for the chalet. Helped out with the BBQ, played some volleyball and learnt how to skateboard. Or rather, that thing is called a long board, as my sis' boyfriend put it. Bowling was next, and I had a horrible and forgettable 1st game. 60+ pinfalls. I haven't had such a bad game for a long time. The 2nd game was more like me. 163 pinfalls.
Well well...it seems like I have had quite an eventful week huh? Yeah...gotta admit there were so much to do and seemingly so little time. But still, there's a feeling of emptiness within me. Hardly talked to her for the whole of this week. Been trying real hard not to unnecessarily contact her or anything. But each time, it's always a battle within myself. I hate this. Absolutely hate this. I miss her. A pretty whole lot. But I really don't know what to do...
These 2 verses from Chicago's "Look Away" has been running in my head for a long time...

Verse 1
When you called me up this morning, told me about the new love you've found...
I said I was happy for you...
I'm really happy for you...

Verse 2
And if you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes...
Look away...baby look away.
And if we meet on the street someday, and I don't know what to say...
Look away...baby look away.
Don't look at me...I don't want you to see me this way...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:05 pm|

Monday, November 22, 2004

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Hmm...I wonder where shall I start from in this entry. Last few days did quite abit. Let's do it in the chronological order.
Saturday. Such a packed day. Morning went to Blackmagic Design. Left at about 11:45pm for Padang to work at the Valuair event. Did nothing but bbq-ed steaks for the whole damn day. It was pretty fun actually. Don't think it's such an easy job. Try standing next to the hot pit for 1 whole hot afternoon and you tell me if it's easy anot. And it's not so easy to judge how cooked the steaks are. Good thing I had some steak experience from my time at Foster's.
Oh yeah...I got caught on camera twice. Man...how many times have I appeared in the news? At this rate I can join Singapore Idol 2 and everyone will already know me because I have so many cameo appearances on TV.
Haha...ok lah that's a joke. I don't think I will be joining Singapore Idol 2, if there is 1. Don't wanna win it hands-down. *bLeAhZ*
Sunday. Watched The Incredibles at Causeway Point. Guess what? I watched it with Cheryl. Haha sounds very weird huh? Went down to get some cds from her, so might as well juz catch a movie. Damn...the animations are so FREAKING GOOD!! Storyline was ok, but the animations juz blew me away. Those who haven't caught it really shouldn't give it a miss.
Monday. Which is today. Well...nothing much happened in the office. Juz the usual errands and stuff. Wasn't feeling the best though. Wonder what's up with me. Anywayz...saw a girl who (I swear, without and fingers or toes crossed) really looked so much like her. There ain't many things that can leave me stunned when I'm in slumber mode. The hairstyle, hair colour, the facial expressions...haiz~...why can't that girl enter the train not sit in front of me?
But well...there are differences. That girl's more tanned, voice slightly deeper, and a tat chubbier. =P
Bought 2 cds juz now too. Haven't bought a cd for a while, and I got 2. Actually intended to buy Power Traxx only, but saw a love songs compilation cd that looked, or rather, sounded very good. Was hesitating a while, but in the end juz decided to get both.
Shows that not only women splurge at the expense of their wallets whenever they are not in the best of moods huh?
It's back to school tomorrow for 2 days. 9-5. It's gonna be really long. Guess I won't be up till too late tonight. But who knows? Adious~

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:01 pm|

Friday, November 19, 2004

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It's been a while...
Yeah it's been a while since I last blogged. Last Saturday? Haha that felt like eons ago. Seems such a long time that I was at ChinaBlack at this very time a week ago.
So it's been a week. Still the same old boring me. Nothing much happened. Nothing special worth mentioning. It's been that kind of week when hours juz flew by without any feeling.
I realised I've been working almost the whole of the holidays. Less than a month left. And I'm still working. Tomorrow will be no exception again. Going to Blackmagic in the morning, have to reach Padang by 12pm for the Valuair event. And that's until like 10pm. Haha...starting to get that burnt-out feeling. You know, the kind of feeling when you really feel like you're gonna break down?
Next week's another busy week. Going back to school on Tuesday and Wednesday for a short course on, I think, video production. Haha...was so happy that she got selected to go too. But in the end she won't be able to make it. Haha...like what I always say: shit happens.
Haven't done a whole deal at Blackmagic lately too. Today juz played around with Photoshop. Went online to find some interesting tutorials to try out. Still can remember on Tuesday...juz sitting down there scrolling through the SMS-es. Haha...really wished to be back months ago. The time when it was probably the best part of my life.
Ok lah...I think that's about all I have to say. Lacking the will and inspiration to really write anything. Take care peepz~ *sMiLeZ*

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:36 pm|

Saturday, November 13, 2004

[[Why do I love u like I always do...]]

What a time to be writing a blog entry. Almost 5am.
You guys must be wondering what a mad man I am to stay up till so late and blog at this time.
Well...juz ain't able to fall asleep. Anywayz, juz came back from ChinaBlack. Was out partying the night away with some friends. So yeah...that's the reason why I'm still awake at this time.
Haha...I wonder where shall I start from. Seem to have alot to say but don't know how to really speak my mind. It has always been a problem for me to speak my mind. Why that is so I wonder too. Perhaps you'll like to ask my mum for me?
I guess the night out was pretty fun. Cool music, hot atmosphere. And she was there too. What more could I ask for?
Unfortunately, there's always so much more a man would ask for. And I'm not referring to any dirty thoughts here. I'm a clean-cut guy.
Yeah yeah...go on and have your doubts. I don't really give a damn. =P
Haha...still don't know how to get it going. I suppose...yeah...maybe I shouldn't have went. Sometimes, my presence juz seems to make everything turn from bad to worse. Perhaps she has been right all the time. That we are too different. That we probably aren't the right ones for each other. That...aww fuck...juz forget it.
Anywayz...suddenly have the mood to write a poem. Seems weird that whenever I do write a poem, it comes at a wrong time. Aiya who cares? Anytime could be a bad time.
So here goes...

The year it was twenty forty-five,
There lived a man sitting by the river for twenty years of his life.
Looking at the river that was so tranquil,
One could never imagine how he actually feels.

The year it was twenty zero-two,
The man was then a seventeen year-old fool.
His eyes caught sight of a beautiful lady,
And felt lucky he would be seeing her daily.

He used to think only fools fall in love,
For fools fall deep without seeing what's above.
But when he saw the lady he instantly knew why,
For love and Juliet Romeo would die.

Twenty zero-five and it's graduation day,
The man and his lady would go separate ways.
His three years were up and he resigned to fate,
But still he wasn't willing to give up the wait.

Ten years twenty years quickly flew by,
Each night the man would softly cry.
He ought to have given up on her now,
But his heart refuses to no matter how.

Forty-three years on he's now an old man,
Living all alone on a faraway land.
The last time I saw him he was seen,
Telling a great story of the most wonderful girl he met when he was seventeen.

Would you be willing to listen to my story when I'm sixty? The story of the girl I met while I was seventeen?

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|4:41 am|

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

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I did another dumb and silly thing again today.
Yes yes...I know. For the umpteen time.
But well...some things juz can't be helped. Or rather, some one.
Went to Jasons at Raffles City after work. Wanted to get some flu pills. Yeah...she was having a runny nose yesterday, so juz thought of buying some medicine in case she's still feeling crappy today. And so, I got Jabin to help me some flu medicine. He's working there for the X'mas season. And yeah, then I got my thing and headed for her home.
I guess I'm too smart sometimes. Wrote a note and put it around the box of medicine for easier identification. Then walked to her home, thinking I would be able to juz slot the thing into her mailbox. Sounds like a classic? And sounds really simple too. But I guess I'm too smart for my own good sometimes.
Her mailbox turns out to be the type where the top flap thing, which allows the postman to put letters in, cannot be flinched. What a noble design to counter all the unnecessary leaflets that are slotted into mailboxes illegally (I suppose) everyday.
So noble....darn. Can't believe I'm beaten by such a simple design of a damn mailbox.
So...I juz left the box on the top of the mailboxes. And messaged her, hoping she would be at home to take it asap before someone takes it away. Guess what? She was teaching tuition.
But good thing the box was not taken away. It stayed there till she got home. Lucky me.
Yeah...that's really how dumb and silly I am. What to do?
There's always a better way to approach things. Maybe you can teach me some? *wInKz*

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:09 pm|

Sunday, November 07, 2004

[[Confusion all over]]

Finally it's the end of the week. This week couldn't have come by as quickly as this. Today was the last day of the wine exhibition at Expo. Man, it feels like a dream now that it's all over. I couldn't have expected it to be over in such a short while when I started on Thursday.
It's quite a good experience working at the exhibition. Perhaps I didn't learn alot, but neither do I feel I've wasted 4 days. Met some really great people, got to bring home some of the finest wines in the world, and got to appear on a Channel 5 news footage for like 3 seconds? Wahaha...I didn't even notice it was me in the background.
Worked at the same venue with her for 4 days, but well...hardly got the chance to talk much. Only got the chance to "steal" a few glances at her while I went to the washing area to clear the spittoons.
Haha...yeah lah it sounds real dumb.
Anywayz, I'm starting on as an intern at a relatively new production house tomorrow. Ms. Loh called on Wednesday morning to ask if I'm interested. The company's looking for 2 interns to help them up. Well, why not? I'm going with Wilfred, but he's starting later than me.
Really hope to learn things there. Went to the company for an interview on Saturday, and left with a good impression of the place. It's going to take up most of the time I have left during the holidays. I guess that doesn't matter. When you're single, sometimes there ain't much to do. So why not work?
Juz typed a resignation letter for Seoul Garden. Feel kinda bad that I'm going to leave so suddenly, especially towards the Operation Manager, who is such a nice man. After more than a year at that place, there remains in me some feelings towards it. I always knew it was a matter of time before I leave. Perhaps now's really the time. Hope I'll be leaving on a good note.
I guess that's all I have to say. Gotta leave house soon to go watch Man U vs Man City. Wanna stay at home and stay online to chat with her, but she's busy though. Haiz~...suan le ba. Perhaps for everything in life, there really comes a time...
A time when everything ends. I hope it's not now...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:24 pm|

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

[[Blur me...or is it distracted me?]]

Have you ever bought batteries for your discman? You know, those AA batteries. Then when u try to insert them into your discman you had so much difficulty doing so even though you bought the correct size but a different brand from what you usually use?
After that you bought 2 more batteries of the usual brand you use, and in the end, found out that the ones you bought earlier could fit and work? And realised that, in the first place, you had inserted those batteries in the wrong direction?
Well...I did. Juz this afternoon. Damn...I'm feeling so stupid. Even till now. Juz what the hell was I thinking man? Can't help but imagine the uncle sitting beside me on the bus found it amusing to see a 19 year old guy trying so hard to fit batteries into a discman.
I wonder since when have I ever become so bloody blur. You can trust me when I say that I'm usually one of the most alert and observant individual around.
Hey you...stop laughing. I can hear it, if you don't know...
Anywayz...I'm wondering if it's me suddenly becoming so blur, or I'm juz plain distracted by something else. Well..I seriously don't know...
Oh yeah, my driving lessons are coming thick and fast. Today I got 4 chops! Woah...so happy man. I'm halfway through. Hopefully I'll be able to get my licence pretty soon, though I don't really have a car to drive around. But hey, I have a habit of collecting cards of certain genre. Like identity cards, debit cards (no credit cos I'm not rich enough) and such.
I know lah...it's a silly hobby. I'm juz plain silly. =P
Like what she always calls me...silly guy...
Man...it's so late now. My hair's not dry yet. I can't sleep. So tired...long Wednesday ahead. Or rather, a long week ahead. Juz gonna work alot for this month, and then I'll accumulate enough money to slack without working from December all the way till internship.
Heez...sounds like a real good plan, isn't it? Like what they say, failure to plan is planning to fail.
That's all the blabbering I have for today. Till the next time! *sMiLeZ*

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|1:06 am|